So… as predicted, there are many things I SHOULD be doing at this present moment in time but as usual I am going to prioritise and write my blog first. I want to ensure I remain in a good mood for the rest of the day and I think this will definitely help me to forget my proverbial troubles and get fucking happy. My Sister and I just spoke on the phone. She lives up North and I miss her loads.. She said… ‘you’re writing your blog..? Didn’t you Tweet the other day saying you were writing it…’ Ha! Of course I hadn’t written it… Vicki, my lovely big Sister, I love you and miss you every day. xxxx
Call me a chav but I quite like listening to Kiss FM. I have realised that they only really play happy songs. All be it about love and relationships but they’re mostly happy… like about just meeting someone and feeling crazy, but ‘here’s my number… so call me baby’ and such. Happiness seems to be the appropriate theme of this blog given that I performed at the Pheasantry on Sunday for Snappy Title 4: The Secret of Happiness. Is happiness something that we are constantly in pursuit of? My Kabbalah book (not a weirdo… repeat NOT a weirdo) states that happiness exists in the 99% realm… we’re living in the 1% and happiness (or the idea of happiness -total fulfilment and light) occurs when we tap into the 99% realm of life by getting that job we most wanted, hugging our child, falling in love. Happiness can be so many different things to so many different people; money, love, children, success... I enjoy the simple things in life and believe that no amount of money could ever make me happy… it bloody helps though right?! Making me happy right now is eating mango and lime from Pret in a giant pot having just polished off my salad and knowing that I haven’t eaten any shit today… but shit makes me happy too so how does that work itself out then? Its pride weekend and I shall be heading out tomorrow after two Sweeney performances… I was never really a big drinker as a younger one and think I’m living my reckless late teens now… I had a boyfriend I loved back then as a teen and just moved to London quick and fell in love again. Now I’m single I’ve really discovered who I am turning out to be in the last 1.5 years… There are quite a few things I don’t like about myself actually… not that I want to bore you with these things but I’m shit and getting things done. Just do it Kimbo and stop fannying around… We’re all guilty of this I know but I have a very frequent tendency to completely put my head under the very damp sand and hope the waves wont get me and make me drown. My Google search seems to insist on the fact that I’m Spanish… Ole?! The pursuit of happiness is one of the best films I’ve seen… apart from the fact that Will Smith is a GOD, it’s based upon a true story and will make you laugh, cry and truly appreciate your life. The end of the film left me saying ‘YES…’ Life works itself out for those who have ambition and get up when they fall. Some of Will Smith’s best work as far as I’m concerned is this film and Seven Pounds… WOW. I don’t know why it didn’t do so well at the box office… Maybe because it forces us to confront death in the face head on, that and organ donation. People are terrified of death (me included) but that doesn’t stop me being on the organ donor register. I know for sure that I don’t want my body wasted when I die… give it to someone else. That or I’ll donate my body to medical science or something… I’d rather help others after I’ve gone than rot away in a grave. As far as I’m concerned, our spirit is our life and our body is merely a vessel to carry our real ‘beings.’ I imagine it like a snail in its shell; we need the shell to survive but when we’re gone, the shell is just a shell. What’s VERY weird is that the blood donor advert just came on Kiss FM… Guess its not as chavvy as I thought… WOAH. This just confirms to me that my life is mapped out, fate exists and I am lucky to be alive. I don't know if there's some freaky shit going on with the moon lately but I feel super mixed up. Like... out of it all the time mixed up. Things that normally I would have the patience and morality to ignore or brush under the carpet are really annoying me and it feels like I have CONSTANT P.M.T. It probably has a lot to do with friends passing in and out of my life at intervals. Friends are meant to be for life right? Time with friends should be happy and filled with joy - sharing woes and truly being yourself. So what do you do if someone says you’ve changed..? I’d better go, It will be time to warm up soon… I love my job and for those who have always been there… THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. This thing called life, its hard sometimes, isn’t it? I wrote this poem last week at the height of my confusion… haha, enjoy :] Scatterbrain. I am a slight scatterbrain and that’s a fact. By word of mouth I make up for the silence I lack. Did once I share a sentimental flack? For a position gravely entered a shocked shack. For I do not know how my brain will react, when met with another; new things, amongst them, I’ll retract. I sometimes care to share the times when I would travel back, back to when I could hear a chicken… alas, alack. Pursue your own happiness and ensure you don’t spoil others’. XO Kimbo.
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